We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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