I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize