so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
