I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize