uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
