Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
