She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
