They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
