Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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