hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
