Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
