She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
