you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
