I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
