i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
