Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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