walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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