my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
