The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize