shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize