so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
