I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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