How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
