AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
