Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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