I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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