I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
