One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
