I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize