Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
