I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
