Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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