and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
