he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
