it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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