I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize