In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
