hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
