were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
vagina is talking i cant
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
