i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
