piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
