So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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