I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
