but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
