I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize