On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
