i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize