i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
