K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
