That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
