i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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