New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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