Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
