i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
