I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
